Getting Back in the Gym

A few months ago when I looked at the calendar I saw New Orleans, Indy, Virginia, Indy, Columbus, Indy, Indy, and Indy weekends. And that was just April and May! Now after two months of stay-at-home orders, mowing the lawn seems like the highlight of most weeks.

But now we may be starting to get out a little bit more. In some states gyms are open and many more will do be in the next few weeks. Some states have already held baseball tournaments (in our state youth sports events are not on the list to start until mid-June). Just this week, my daughter's coach sent out feelers about parents' thoughts on playing some games at the end of June. Hopefully, most of the kids are excited about these opportunities. They miss the game. They miss their teammates. They miss new cities and eating out. The older ones may be missing chances to impress. It's great to see your child put in some work in the driveway, but there's only so many stationary ball handling drills that can be done (if there's any real purpose to those drills is for another blog!). It's been a challenge to keep sports fun when we're all missing such big parts of them. 

So the kids should be fired up to get going. But are the parents? Most of us love the activities and games as well, and likely have been missing them on some level. But we've also been following the news and hearing the projections of what might happen with the COVID-19 virus. Will there be outbreaks later in the year? Is it still in the community? What really is the risk to my kid? Will they have to stop play to wipe down the ball after every pass?!?

Most of us don't love the unknown. And that is exactly what we are in right now. I would immediately flee from anyone who proclaims to have this all figured out. The NBA has had daily meetings and conferences since play stopped in March, and there still is no concrete idea on how to restart their league. And unfortunately, we're going to be living this unknown for a while. I doubt there will be any specific day in the near future when we can be given a rock-solid "all clear".

We don't do middle ground well in this country. You have to pick a side and dig in. Everyone likes to talk about "science" when it supports their point. But it seems like there are few who understand that the critically thinking scientist asks "how am I wrong?" It is a sign of maturity to consider and even hold two thoughts at once. We can be worried about deaths of vulnerable populations and the deaths of small businesses. We can wear a mask to stop us from shedding virus on others and think wearing it is kind of a pain in the butt. We can look forward to seeing our kids play a sport they love and cringe when we look at the overflowing single toilet at the tournament site. 

So at some point, we'll all be hopping in the car and standing on a sideline again. And it's alright to not be totally comfortable. It's alright to be asking ourselves if we should be doing this. It's alright to tell the coach that your child is not feeling well this week and will be sitting out of the event. It's alright if your kids think that some of this has kinda sucked. Let them feel their emotions. And most importantly, it's definitely alright to tell your kids "I don't know."

For more information on youth sports and the coronavirus check out the excellent resources from The Aspen Institute's Project Play.

We Are ND.

During the last few weeks, Notre Dame has been running a social media "tournament" vote to determine the best picture from Notre Dame athletics this year. The winner featured Senior basketball captain Natalie Achonwa hugging one of the team's ballgirls after they earned another trip to the Final Four.

There were a number of great moments this year for ND teams, but this picture got my vote in each round. Of course I might be a little biased since the ballgirl is our daughter Jessa.

The picture stands on its own quite well. But, a little more background explains even further as to the quality of people associated with Notre Dame athletics such as "Ace".

As most know, ND headed into the tournament undefeated and penciled in for a trip to the finals. But standing in the way was Baylor and the type of player who can put up points by the bundle, Odyssey Sims. Jessa was fired up to have one of the best seats in the JACC that night, taking her spot right under the basket. Heading to the game she was just a little unsure of the earlier instructions not to cheer for ND, since technically she was working for the NCAA that evening, not Notre Dame like usual. She also knew her spring break to the Final Four in Nashville hung in the balance. The crowd was ready for the game (and apparently was the loudest ever recorded at Purcell Pavilion), and more importantly so were the Irish.

Notre Dame rolled to a convincing win. Unfortunately, the evening ended in a bittersweet manner. With just a few minutes left in the game Natalie came down awkwardly and injured her knee. By the look of the play, and more obviously by her reaction (which later in the car Jessa described as hearing her scream), it became clear that this was not just a simple tweak. As it turned out that would be the last play of her ND career because of a torn ACL.

Immediately after the game the team began to celebrate on the floor and started to setup for the always great scene of a victorious team cutting down the net. At some moment the flood and variety of emotions became a little too much for a 6 year old (picture Ron Burgundy in a phone booth!) She began to cry, what were mainly happy tears, but little girl tears nonetheless. She was noticed by a couple of the assistant coaches who called Natalie over.

....A small explanation as to why they called for Ace. Over the last few years Natalie has been extremely gracious and outgoing towards Jessa (and many children as well). Before most home games they have typically embraced as the team came out for warmups and after many games as well. Jessa usually refers to her as "my college friend".........

Because of the win and the injury, I'm sure there were a thousand different thoughts running through Natalie's head immediately after that game. But when a coach calls you over, you come right? So Natalie made her way to them, with a bulky knee brace under her warmup pants, and bends down to give the hug from the picture.

A fairly simple, but yet so genuine and meaningful of an act. And also a great synopsis of the program Coach McGraw has built. That moment doesn't happen without a wildly successful team. And it doesn't happen without high character people (this could be said about so many of the ND teams as well). As a father, physician, alum and youth coach I cannot think of a better organization and group of young women for my daughter to have the privilege of seeing up close.

I am fond of the saying that "Your actions speak so loudly, I can't hear your words." We have seen the impact that the program's culture can have. Those actions might be taking time to make a fan's day with a simple picture. Or by carrying a confidence when other teams think the league newcomers don't have the goods. Or by having your daughter come to you in the middle of her game and say "I'm going to shut that girl down just like Jewell." (sorry for the dad brag :) ). Whatever they may be, it surely helps show why We Are ND is more than a simple twitter hashtag.

The other person who made this picture happen, was the photographer, Katie Schwab. As director of basketball operations one of her many thankless jobs included being in charge of all the ballkids. She was wonderful to Jessa all year even when dad tried to sneak some Nike gear past her! As many know Katie is going through a tremendous medical challenge right now. She has a little one (and so many others) praying for her.

Quick Hitter

When the mood strikes, I hope to give some thoughts on current topics. Most likely these will involve mental health, children and athletics. Seeing how English was never my favorite class, this could be quite an adventure....or nothing at all.